She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
