I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
