is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
