Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
