using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize