apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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