So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
