How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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