this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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