Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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