I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
