Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just cropdusted the office
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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