Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is my gift to your gina
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
