Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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