you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
