i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
