"it" just moved
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
