Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
