I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Randomize
