it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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