i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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