We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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