Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
