So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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