YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
