I'd wear matching sweaters with you
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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