I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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