That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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