get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
