i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
