Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
as a side note pls kill me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
