She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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