I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
