i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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