No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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