I wish my penis had an off switch
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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