She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
