I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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