i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
