my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
