All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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