She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
