you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
