someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
