STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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