i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
