girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
