Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
