i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
