kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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