his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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