Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
